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Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
11:58 am
Change is funny. It not only sneaks up on you, but it has the ability to alter your life and perspectives. My favorite manager at Lil' chef was fired monday. I still remember how hard it was to breath that day. You never realize how much of an impact someone makes on your life until they dissapear from it. The restaurant is so quiet now, but if I listen really closely, I can still hear the laughter that used to rumble through it. I feel like it's time to move on and embrace this change the best I can. I feel like I no longer fit in. John was like my allie, my partner in crime, by number one Lil' Chef outcast that I looked up to. I don't feel like I can be there anymore without the various kicking out of midnight kids, the constand insults, and the long office/cigarette chats about life and what we were going to be when we grew up...haha. I think I'm going to get a job out here. There's no reason for me to drive all the way to brighton anymore to be judged and made to feel like I don't belong. I should have left a long time ago, but having john there to stick up for me made it easier somehow. I haven't been happy there for such a long time and now I've lost one of my best friends. The reasons for it were all wrong, no one should be fired for sticking up for another person. I find myself getting more and more angry with each day that goes by. I still remember the first day I worked there and how at home I felt. Now I feel like I am walking into a prison. No more days of secretly ordering pizza or turning the sprinklers on the dishwasher when he is trying to put up the sign, gosh what a tragedy. I've decided to change with change. This is my sign that it's time to try new things and finally, once and for all, get out of the town I have held onto for so long. THanks for the comments on the last entry guys. It's so nice to know that there are people out there that care about me enough to read my thoughts and share their's as well. My love to all of you and hope to see some of you soon.

Current Mood: gloomy
Monday, July 3rd, 2006
11:18 pm
Sorry Folks, I know it's been a while
Well, the summer has been whipping by. I wish I could tell all of you that time flys when you're having fun, but that hasn't really been my style lately. Nope, all work and very little play. I find myself alone more that I wish to be and when given opportunities to go out, I turn them down because I am feeling too tired. I want to know where all my energy has gone. I remember having it at some point but now I can't seem to talk myself into being active. I've turned into this person that I don't know anymore, and it's scaring me so much I can't even breath. I wish I had like a 24 hour drill sergent to whip my ass into shape all the time. I think I just need someone to motivate me. I don't know. I'm sick of writing depressing things because people have enough drama in their lives, but to make more sense. I just ate an entire coffee cake from panera and I have watched an entire season of sex and the city. God I miss the times where I would not eat when I was depressed and now I've gone head first into sweetland. Toto, we are definately not in Kansas any more.
Monday, May 22nd, 2006
10:08 am
summer so far
Have you ever felt like your life was moving in slow motion and there was no way to speed it up? I've felt that lately because I have had a lot of time to really think about things and absorb what's going on around me. I realize that I have become somebody completely different from what I had imagined. I have no zest..I have lost it somewhere in my blinding journey through teen years. It's sad really that at 19 years old, I would rather lay around watching law and order instead of actually trying to do something. My mind keeps screaming at me to get out and enjoy what little time off I have, but my body just won't budge. I've been meaning to get a gym membership for weeks now and I haven't gone out and done it. I went out and bought a bunch of healthy and organic stuff and I still stopped at starbucks this morning and got a muffin. I'm dead tired everyday, I need to find some energy besides the forced energy that comes over me when I walk into work and have to be cheerful. The key problem is that I am so tired all the time, and I have made virtually no effort to meet new people and get out there. I haven't really made any kind of effort to do much of anything, I'm just getting by and passing the days. On the bright side, I got to see my parents yesterday and we saw the Davinci code which was good. I just felt like I was a million miles away yesterday and I hoped that my parents wouldn't notice because it didn't have anything to do with them. I've just been taking a long hard look at my life lately and getting mad at myself for letting it get to this point. I just need a swift kick in the ass, something to just get me going. I've been trying to make up for this emptiness by working extra hours, but it is so substitute because it just makes me more tired and gives me more reason to lay around when I am not at work. It's sad really but I'm really going to try and change it. Quitting smoking is still not working. I realize that I have this amazing ability to overeat when I am trying to quit and I really don't want to do that. Arggg I'm getting angry at myself again. I promised Carrie I would be a nonsmoker when she came home and I can't break my promise so I'm trying. Hope everyone else is doing ok and wish me luck trying to find myself again.

Current Mood: frustrated
Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
12:53 pm
People are funny things. You just never know what they are going to do. You could know someone for your entire life and at the blink of an eye, you realized you never really knew them at all. It's weird and depressing all at the same time. People at work are really getting out of hand with their rumors and their cruel words, and I'm not really sure how much longer I can take it for. I miss simplicity, I miss a time where people including myself just got along. I'm sick of petty rumors and people thinking they know people when they really don't. I dated a guy for almost six months, and when we broke up he insisted we be friends but was never there when I needed him. So I found another friend that I have become quite close to over the past few months that I have been having troubles, and now I am being chastized for it and accused of sleeping with him. It just makes me mad when people feel they have the right to pry into other people's personal lives when they have absolutley no grounds to be doing so. I know I should just blow it off and not care, but for some reason it's bugging me so much. I think it's just because I really want people to respect me and like me, and it really hurts me when people think badly of me, especially when it's not true. Sorry it's always such drama with me, but I just needed to get that out of my system.

Current Mood: disappointed
Monday, March 27th, 2006
5:10 pm
What now?
Ok, so no matter what gets me down in life, I have always had one place to go where my troubles didn't bother me...work. I know it sounds crazy because most people are generally stressed out by work...but not me. When I went to work, there was no doing homework, there was no boring classes...just work. I pretty much got along with everyone, and no matter what we always had a blast. But then what happens when you get too close to the people that you work with? What happens when you know ugly and horrible things about them that eventually come out and somehow drag you into it? I'm not going to go into details about this because there really is no need. What matters here is the fact that I guess I just don't understand why certain people do certain things. When I get mad at someone, I can't stay mad. I am always the first person to go and apologize regaurdless of whether or not I'm right. I just don't understand how people can be decietful, angry, and cruel when they have a dissagreement with someone, it just blows my mind. People can't just talk to each other anymore, it always has to be a battle. Two of my best friends at work are fighting, and I'm caught up in the middle. And by staying neutral, now they are both upset with me. There is no winning for me, and the whole thing is only slightly my fault. I just don't know what to do, because when people at work fight...they bring the whole restaurant into it and everything falls apart. I have no idea what to do. I tried to explain to one of the people what the other one was "really" saying, and then he got mad at me because he thought I was sticking up for her when really I was just trying to help. Gosh I am just so stressed about this and I have no idea where to go from here.
Monday, February 27th, 2006
7:18 pm
Newsflash: Mondays Can Be Good!!
This is crazy, this is insane, this is nuts...I actually had a good Monday! I know, I couldn't believe it myself. I thought it was some sort of unwritten law that all Mondays had to be bad...for me at least. But today, it was different. I woke up at 8:15 this morning after a nice night of sleep...and didn't study for the test I had today. I ate my Apple Jacks, watched Saved by the Bell while quickly looking over my notes for my midterm. I was late to class, but my prof hadn't handed out the tests yet, so that was cool. Then I got through the test really easily. With my luck I'll get it back and fail it, but what counted for today was that I didn't struggle on any of the questions. After that I had almost two hours until my next class which never happens. I didn't know what to do, the world was my playground. So I went to Expresso Royale for about an hour and had a HUGE love mocha. Consequently, the guy who makes the best love mocha had just gotten back from his vacation and made me the perfect love mocha today. After that I went to the bank and instead of waiting in the usual cedar pointesque bank line, I got right in...it was great. Then I actually got to go over to Brueggers and have a sandwhich that I didn't have to shove down my throat in ten seconds. Now generally when I go into get lunch at Brueggers, I never got a hot bagel. Well today, on what we'll call my "fantastic Monday", my f-ing bagel was hot, and it was awesome. So after that, I proceeded back over to Expresso Royale and sat for another 20 minutes or so before I headed to my next class. I pretty much zoned out the entire time, and then my prof let us out a half hour early. So what did I do? Went back over to ERC and hung out until my next class. My ISP lab wasn't nearly as horrible as it usually is, so that was a bonus. But here's the clencher...what truly made this monday so grand... I got my grade in my ISP lab...a 76.79 percent which would generally be a 2.5. Well in this class, it's a 3.5 and I only need four more percent to get a 4. That truly made my day. So kids, it's true that Mondays are usually the most voted day of the week that you want to hang yourself....but there can be that one monday where everything works out. I'm also happy to say that I now have faith for future Mondays.

Current Mood: amused
Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
5:09 pm
Life is like a box of chocolates
I have no idea why I put that heading to my post, I've just seen a lot of chocolate in the past couple of days and it seemed right. I hope everyone had a nice valentines day. Mine was good. My mom came up to visit and I got to spend more time with her then I have in a while...I had fun. I also got a stunning new pair of pants and a belt, and a FREE new cell phone. It was a good day. Today was good too. I wish I wasn't so tired. I actually got to sit down and eat lunch today, I love Brueggers. I had a sandwich and some soup and it was the best lunch I have had in a long time. I sat there eating, talking to a good friend, and looking out the window. I did get flowers yesterday. Haha, when I went to go visit my other job, my boss took the last two carnations of the ones they were giving out tonight and gave them to me. He thought it was halarious, but I was just happy to get flowers. Lol, I'm such a loser. Anyways, I hope everyone is doing well, hopefully I'll be 100% back to my old, stubborn, bouncy self soon, I'm sick of being so tired.

Current Mood: exhausted
Monday, February 6th, 2006
5:27 pm
Weird week so far
Days until surgery: 4
Cigarettes today: I stopped counting

So yea, the day is almost here. The day I have been dreading for so long now. I've been angry, sad, depressed, upset...any type of negative adjective that can possibly be used. Now the surgery is closer than ever, and I feel ok. I don't know why, it just hit me though. I'll say it again...I feel ok. I'm not really sure where this all came from because you would figure that the closer the evil day came, the more scared shitless I would be, but I'm having quite the opposite reaction and it's pretty weird.

So last night I got in a big fight with my ex....sorry Randy, that's why I wasn't really in the talking mood. I finally took all my pent up anger out on him and I hate to say it but it felt really fuckin good. I didn't really talk to him much last night, he made a few comments that I wasn't supposed to hear, and he still hasn't asked me anything about my surgery. I probably shouldn't be so upset that he doesn't give a fuck, but I just thought that he would try to be a little more involved because I was so terrified. So here's what set me off..."Are you like mad at me or something?" ooooo no no no he didn't....but yes yes yes he did. So naturally being the extremely sweet and loving person that I am...I went off on him. I told him I thought it sucked that he didn't give a shit about what was going on with me, but he found it so convenient to tell me what was going on in his life all the time even when I don't give a shit. He likes to pretend like we are still dating, and it pisses me off. So after I went off on him, he proceeded to go off on me, and I ended the discussion by storming off like a little kid. Now for those of you who know me, I am kinda like happy gilmore in the sense that immediatley after i do something like that, I always run back and apologize. I didn't really apologize, I just told him that I didn't want to fight with him anymore. So instead of coming back to talk to me about our argument, he asked me something I had never expected to come out of his mouth..."So, how do you feel about you and I?" I was like ummm excuse me? There is no "you and I" any more...there's you, and then there's me...separate...not together. I made sure the conversation ended there because there was no way in hell I was going to sit there and talk about this stuff at work. So I guess I'm supposed to talk to him tonight...should be interesting.

Other than that my Monday wasn't too shabby, besides the fact that it's f-ing cold out.

Current Mood: calm
Monday, January 30th, 2006
5:49 pm
Paying Respect
A friend of mine died on thursday. Gosh it seems really weird to see it typed out in front of me, because that makes it real. I wasn't really close with this person like I am with my other friends, but that doesn't mean that he didn't truly stand out in my life. I met him last year when he was living with the extremely crazy guys in the apartment directly below us. My roommates and I used to stomp on our floor really loud to get them to shut up. Eventually we figured...if you can't beat em, join em. So we went down and got to know these four guys by the names of Jasek, Bons, Zack, and Tanner. We drank with them, watched movies with them. I remember a particular day when we all called into work after a night of drinking and sat around playing catch phrase all day...good times. haha, i still remember jasek calling into work saying that his roommate fell and bumped his head and he had to rush him to the emergency room...he never did end up going to work that day. Bons, the dearly departed, was truly a special person. I had only known him for a couple of seconds and he treated me like family. I remember when him and jasek came up to my apartment, kidnapped me, and took me to a party. I remember the days of running through walmart for no particular reason, and riding all the penny horses. Bons and I bought posters we didn't need, it was awesome. I haven't seen him in a while because he had a brain tumor which consequently was the reason he went, but I missed him and thought of him often. When I heard the news I felt as if someone had punched me in my stomach. I hadn't been that close to him, but the worst part was knowing that such a wonderful and true person was no longer in this world. His funeral was today and I couldn't bring myself to going. I knew that I would be around family and friends who are truly at a loss, and I would have buckled..especially with what I have been facing in my own life for the past month. I'm mad at myself for not going, I should have done it for Bons, but I just couldn't. There are some people in this world that you will never be ready to say goodbye to, and this was one of those times for me. I didn't want to see him lying there still and cold because that would mean that this whole thing really happened and that he could no longer do his impression of scarface or make me laugh. There was one time when I saw him at the apartment after not seeing him for a long time, and he came and sat next to me while I was on my cell phone. He just sat there waiting for me to finish so that he could look at the stars with me. I never did get off my phone so he went inside, and even though i regret this, the image of him smiling still stands in my head. i forever want to have that image of him as opposed to seeing him expressionless in a casket. I guess that would be my best reason for not going, I wanted to remember him when he was alive and never have to have a mental picture of him as anything but. I may regret my decision for the rest of my life, but i will always have my brief, but happy memories of knowing him.

Current Mood: sad
Sunday, January 29th, 2006
2:01 pm
Breaking Ground
Days Until Surgery: 12
Cigarettes today: 2

So the day is nearing...the day that my life will change. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I was afraid. Not really afraid of the surgery itself, but the changes that I have to make following it. Quitting smoking is not going well. Somehow in the process of trying to rid myself of the habit, I have become more attached to it. I would say that I am probably smoking more knowing that the day is nearing that I will have to give it up. It's really sad that I am saddened by this, but I can't help it. It's been a part of my life for so long that I have to get to know myself all over again without it. For me, it's like that childhood blanket that you kept until the point where it was merely a shred of cloth and eventually had to throw it away. I'm scared of change. I feel like I will be taking on an entirely different identity as a "nonsmoker". I admit that while going through all of this, that I have had a lot of support from my friends and family. I feel so fortunate that I have this little network of people that will stand by me no matter what the circumstances, it makes everything that much more worth doing. I'm pulling through this, but it is still hard. It's never easy though to change the things about yourself that you are not ready to change. I'm sorry to those that I have not really talked to all that much since all this news came at me, but know that you will always and forever be appreciated and that I love you no less than I did at the very beginning. I just need some time to let all of this sink in so I'm not really as there as I would like to be right now.

Current Mood: blah
Monday, January 16th, 2006
5:44 pm
jumbled thoughts
Days until surgery: 25
Cigarettes today: 4

The weekend wasn't bad I have to say. Not great...but not bad. I spent Friday sleeping in and staying in my PJs until around five. I had a great friend over for pizza and then we watched law and order until he had to leave. I am starting to appreciate spending quality time with good friends more and more as time goes on. Saturday was a normal day, saw the parents and went to work. Work was good because I got to work with my Ex and I was so wonderfully reminded why I don't miss him at all...so that was good. There was nothing extraordinary about Saturday, but it's another day I woke up breathing so that's got to count for something right? Sunday was good, I went shopping and spent way too much money...but for some reason it felt good so I went with it. Carrie made me dinner because I was having one of my crazy anger/stress fits that I have begun to have ever since I found out I was going to have surgery, so we ate and watched julia roberts movies...it was special. Then I went to Lil' Chef to have coffee and get some work done..which inevitably never happens but I felt good in my surroundings and that's all that counts. Now more than ever before, I feel the need to be close to the people that mean the most to me because at this point, I fear that without them I may fall apart. I have my good days and my bad days I guess. Sometimes I get angry and start crying and throwing things, but for the most part I have been better than I thought I would be. I wish we would get some powder snow so that I could run around catching the snowflakes on my tongue and wish I was a kid again. It's hard to believe how much time has passed since then.

Current Mood: contemplative
Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
5:40 pm
Well the first week of classes is half over, and I am exausted!! I don't know about the rest of you, but I have definatley become an old lady. I don't go out anymore, and as soon as I get home all I want to do is eat a popsicle and go to sleep. The quitting smoking thing is going ok. I've only had four today which is a significant decrease in my usual pack to pack and a half per day. yea I know... I didn't realize I was smoking that much either. But it seems like now that I am trying to quit, I think about smoking more than I did when it didn't matter. I always told myself that I would not let this habit control my life, and that I could just quit whenever I wanted to...it's not that simple folks. I've been trying to figure out things to do in place of smoking, that's hard to because no matter what I do I still want to smoke. I've resolved to quit drinking alcohol period, and also to quit drinking coffee. I hate the fact I'm giving up coffee because it is one of my favorite things, but I have to because that is probably what makes me want to smoke the most. So I have switched to Chai Tea..hopefully it lasts. I've overwhelmed myself with classes this semester, which could be a good or a bad thing, I'll let you know as the semester progresses. Anyways, speaking of classes I should start my reading. Have a good rest of the week everyone!

Current Mood: exhausted
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
7:54 pm
konichiwa. watshi wa muff desu. watashi no muff wa okii desu. muff wa daisuki desu.

--mufyf san.
Thursday, November 10th, 2005
12:24 pm
lip kiss
kiss on the lips - you're sweet and simple but
quite daring. you move for the kill confidently
knowing the other person wants the same thing.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Thursday, October 27th, 2005
8:55 am
A response to the last entry
Hello everyone,

I just wanted to let everyone know that my last entry was obviously not written by me. Actually it was written by my sister's clown-faced, scotum sucking, cum guzzling boyfriend. He kinda has a big of a tampon fetish, which is why I think he wrote that entry. I'm sure he doesn't want people to know that he sleeps with a box of playtex gentile glide scented tampons every night. He has a separate chair for them at the breakfast table, he takes them to class with him, and he is frequently found in dark alleys professing his sweet undying love for them. I've tried to talk to him about it and let him know that it IS a problem, but I'm afraid his feelings keep developing more and more each day. I would also like to let everyone know that it is he that enjoys pork rinds and oreos. I know this because I have found him eating them in mass quantities while laughing gleefully to himself. He's quite deranged and I am really starting to worry about him. Yesterday I saw him push an old lady in a wheelchair into wet cement and sit there while it was drying, laughing to himself. I also saw him direct a blind person into traffic as well as giving himself frequent wedgies. Oh yea, and he wears leopard print thongs at night while dancing to Marvin Gaye. So if you happen to see this person, kick him in the balls.

Current Mood: amused
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
2:49 pm
Hey everybody! I hope everyone is doing well! I just wanted to let you know that I am changing my name to Tampon. So, from now on I will only respond to that...nothing else.

That's wonderful.

Ok, now I have to go. I'm about to eat an entire bag of pork rinds. I <3 PORK RINDS! YUMMY YUM YUM YUM.

That is all,


Tampon (aka Muffy)
7:37 am
Tossing and Turning
Good things to happen since my breakup:
1. I'm pretty much 4.0ing every test I take and every paper I write which is a huge turnaround for me
2. I spend more time worrying about myself and my close friends than how my boyfriend is going to make me feel like crap that day
3. More coffee for me
4. I've been working out more and trying to improve myself
5. I'm finally talking to my friends that I have neglected for so long

Bad things:
1. Now everyone feels they have a right to set me up with whomever they deem is right for me
2. I'm not sleeping well
3. It's hard to eat full meals, and the vast majority of the meals I do eat are eaten alone
4. All the money I'm saving from not being in a relationship is being blown on clothes that I don't need
5. In order to not think about everything, I've been making myself so busy that I can barely see straight

So they are even. The good and the bad of my breakup have somehow managed to tie. It's hard because I didn't expect that people would start asking me out as soon as I became single. I'm sure that most people would enjoy that sort of thing because it would let them know that they are still desired. For me, it's stressful and confusing because I know I'm not ready for another relationship right now. I'm feeling a lot of pressure coming from people at work to date this guy that comes in all the time. It's hard because he's a really nice guy who's totally unlike anyone I've ever dated (in a good way). He's actually pretty perfect for me, which really pisses me off because it's just not a good time. Now I'm faced with the fact that because I need time, I might lose out on something that in the long run will probably be really good for me. I just don't bounce back that easily, and it's unfair to myself and the other person to even attempt to date them right now. I'm the type of person who needs at least a few months after a break up to regain my confidence and relationship strength. This last relationship was something that I put so much into that eventually I became bitter and decided to just stop doing anything at all. I'm not ready to give away another piece of myself right now because I'm not so sure I have one in my possession at this point in time. I have absoulutley no problem being alone, as a matter of fact, sometimes I think I prefer it. Of course I want love and happiness and all that mushy stuff that everyone always talks about...after all I am human. But right now is not not not a good time. I just wish I knew what to do about this whole thing without hurting anyone. Hopefully this guy understands that I need time, because he is a really good guy. Once again, life gave me another swift kick in the ass. It sucks that things have to be so complicated sometimes.

Current Mood: confused
Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
10:07 am
Trying to work through
Well it's been almost a week since the breakup. I'm doing a lot better, thanks to those of you who commented to my last entry and gave me the reassurance that I so desparatley needed. Now, since I am not spending countless hours being sad, it's hard to figure out what to do now. I know that it's going to be hard to meet new people, despite the fact that I am a relatively outgoing person. I just need to wise up this time, and stop worrying about others so much. That sounds like a bad thing to say, but it's true that I will stay in a relationship and be miserable so that the other person won't feel any pain. I need to knock that off because it only hurts me that much more. I need to get it straight in my head exactly what I want and stop settling because I think that what I truly want does not exist. I have this problem where I move too fast, and I need to stop that too. I need to realize that there is nothing wrong with taking it slow and not rushing things. I feel like I kinda screwed myself over a couple of times last year trying to do that. I want to go do something crazy, like get a tattoo. I want to meet new people and learn new things about them, and about myself as a result. I just want to enjoy some of the fun I've been missing out on by limiting myself so much. I'm not the type of person to go drink, or screw my problems away. I just like to surround myself with good people who I dont' have to impress, because I've already impressed them by being myself.

Current Mood: energetic
Thursday, October 6th, 2005
10:17 am
Falling into Fall
Ok for the first time since I have been a michigander... I want it to get COLD!!! I just finished taking all of my sweaters and long pants down from the top of the closet and I am soo excited to start wearing them. A little while ago, a good friend of mine was talking about how he had stories behind a lot of his clothing. I sat there jealous as ever trying to think about stories behind my clothing, besides just going to the store, buying them, and never having anything exciting happening while I am wearing them. Well, that has changed now. While I was cleaning out my closet and getting rid of some of my clothing (I'm a huge clothing packrat...guilty as charged), I started to remember what I was doing while I was wearing these things. It's wierd to think outside the box sometimes. I smiled when I pulled out the first article of clothing that my sister ever bought for me...a red hawaiian tee shirt. I also pulled out all of my skank clothes that I used to wear to the pool hall on friday nights and think i was a queen. For the record, I tried these things on and damn my ass has gotten bigger...no more mcdonalds for me. Anyways, I remember the shirt I wore when I kissed my first love for the first time. It's wierd how your clothes age with you. Now my closet is packed with suit pants, some jeans, and hoodies. I like growing up, but there are a lot of things I miss about being young that are really starting to get to me now. I miss my mom making dinner for me at night, I miss coming home from school and watching all of my favorite shows. Dating was so much easier back then. You would date someone for a week, have a friend break up with them for you, and be dating someone else by the beginning of the next week...those were the days. Or I could go back even further to marrying my friend willie under the swingset in kintergarden...and then beating each other up five minutes later..which reminds me, he still hasn't sent child support for our babies...ass. With everything getting so complicated in my life lately, it makes me long more and more for simplicity. I miss being able to miss a week of school, and come back to all of it put together for me in a neat little pile with an extra week to get it done. Sometimes I wish that I could go back in time and do things differently.

List of things to do very soon before I go crazy:

*Go to the Cider Mill
*Stay up all night with a good friend drinking coffee and talking about everything and anything
*Start reading my text books...its almost midterms, it's about that time
*Get a tattoo or a wierd piercing
*Spend at least half of a day watching law and order in my underwear...and doing nothing else

Current Mood: contemplative
Monday, September 12th, 2005
10:45 pm
Counting the minutes until I am made whole again
So the last few weeks I have been sick...feeling really shitty. But in the midst of my shitty feeling..I recieved the best phone call yesterday. My Steph called me to tell me he is finally coming back to me. Just hearing his voice on the other end of the phone made up for so much that has gone wrong for me lately. I find myself missing him even more knowing that he is coming home soon. Life just got so much better after that phone call because it made me realize even more how much I need him. September 30th is going to be a truly wonderful day. I can't wait!!!! Anyways, in other news. Classes are going alright. They'll be even better when I finally get rid of this sickness!!! I need to go out for late night coffee dates again...I'm craving them!!! I won't have a sugarbear without you..so hurry back to me.

Current Mood: anxious
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